I blame yoga

Today I spilt an entire aeropress load of coffee on to the counter, the floor and my barefeet.

Coffee grounds everywhere, inbetween my toes.

I shrugged, thought ‘ah….well that wasnt the plan’ and then calmly cleared up the mess and just carried on making my morning coffee.

A year ago an incident like this could have broken me, I would have no doubt cried. Exasperated. Why me? Why now? My coffee!

My morning ruined, my mood for the day set.

Today though, I wouldnt even refer to this as an ‘ incident’.¬† It probably set my day back by about 2mins. I had zero emotional attachment to it.

I blame yoga.

Since making yoga a daily practice,  the benefits I have noticed physically and the increased strength in my injured shoulder had been my main focus for measuring progress.

‘how long can I hold plank for? ‘ ‘ how many times can I come down through chutarunga dhandasana into urdva mukha svanasana’ ‘how long and low can I fold in paschimottonasana? ‘

I completely failed to acknowledge the biggest change in me: my mental health.

I met a dear friend for lunch last week and he told me he could notice the change in me from last year. We would meet for lunch in our work lunch hours from the office and he said it would be a good 45 mins of me angrilly ranting about work and life and purging my frustrations. It was apparently amusing.

But now I rant alot less. I don’t really remember the last time I got truly angry or cried with frustration. And whilst recent intense experiences have brought back anxiety and panic attacks (no one likes exams), otherwise I just havent been having panic attacks like I used to.

And it’s not just me.

One of my students who I won’t name, came to me with anxiety as the reason he wanted to try yoga.

He emailed me a little while back to thank me for my classes saying that he hadnt had a panic attack in weeks. I was so touched and felt so grateful.

Imagine being able to be a positive influence on someones mental wellbeing! (thank you Yoga) x

I have watched this particular student blossom in his physical practice too. Becoming flexible and moving with more grace.

I am so so proud of all my beautiful students. Xx

I blame yoga for alot of good things in my life. The word yoga derives from the meaning to unite, to join together, to yoke. It is the unity of the physical body and the mind.

One last little story for you…

I suffer with heat stroke pretty badly and last night after a full day of teaching classes, plenty of caffeine and not alot of water… I had some kind of fit. (I’ve been recovering from a hospital stint for months so often my body just does really weird stuff) my body convulsed and everything contracted and shook. When the fit finished, I felt I couldnt feel or move my legs or upper arms.

Luckily Charlie was home to help me. I would have panicked (tbf it was scary as…) but instead I focused on breathing, and moving what I *could* feel. It took an hour, but when I finally got my body and mind back together¬† ; I could feel everything but my right foot.

As I tried desperately #thestruggleisreal to move my toes, just wiggle my toes with my mind… My right big toe twitched and moved to the side!

My feet were operated on 5times when I was a teenager, and I havent been able to move my right big toe for 20 years.

Last night, with concentration, determination and a whole load of pranayama; I created a new (or reconnected an old) neurological pathway from my mind through my nervous system to my toe.

And you KNOW I cried them happy tears of gratitude.

I had to lose feeling in my whole body to gain back the ability to move my toe… But it was worth it.

I blame yoga for my success.

Every day.

I blame Yoga. Xxx